We got so high we made milksteak
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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