My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I wish you could order shots online.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
