how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
