I think I am morally bankrupt
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
