I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
is wine microwaveable?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
