Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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