drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize