so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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