How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I AM VODKA MAN
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
