I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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