i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I need help removing her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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