i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Sext me about skeletons
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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