He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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