My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
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Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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