dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
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