beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
