I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
My vagina just recognized that song.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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