Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
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Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
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I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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