i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
This is my gift to your gina
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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