your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
