Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
