Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
