BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
