She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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