She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
