I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
