in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
