i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
