That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The air was thick with penises
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
