What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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