whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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