yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
