am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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