help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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