whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
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