I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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