Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
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