Fuck appropriateness.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
