i permit you to call me
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
