You made me cry and you don't even care
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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