At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
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i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
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Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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