party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
