Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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