I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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