I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
