I want to have your abortion
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
