I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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