It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
3pm strippers are depressing
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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