8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
