I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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