Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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