Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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