I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
