He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
