he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
