Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Four minutes until I can fart!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
