i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
