WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize