If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
