My cat gives me a boner
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
